September 22, 2004

I cannot get a grip of myself. I have been working for only a couple of hours and I feel as if the days has passed by. I am so sleep deprived. I am not an insomniac but as days go by I feel like I am becoming one. I never have experienced this sleep deprivation since my high school days. I was not studying though. It was more of room hopping. Chatting till the wee hours of the morning. Asking people to share ghost stories and all other stuff that "mature people" calls idiotic. As if they did not went through the same phase. Well times have passed and it is 10 years I have stepped to the great halls of a great school Many envied what we have but for me, it was not that easy. From the jolly facade, there was always that rebellious streak waiting to unleash. Did it ever want to unleash? Well, I was able to do normal things students studying in normal schools managed to achieve. There was a lot of disco and drinking with my friends outside school. The rebellious nature was in me after all. I was sleep deprived because of the partying but I never complained. Work, it changes a lot of perceptions though. You feel very old even if you are just what, working for two or three years. Deadlines, pressures, and all the crap that you have to take just to meet quotas. Hellish!

Well, at least the pay is good. Did the rebellious streak dies out because the pay is good and will i take my sleep deprivation to the doldrums. The answer is a no but we can keep it at bay. How I miss college where I sleep 10 hours a day without worrying not passing my subjects. Well, I was planning to work overtime today but I guess I wont. I will work overtime some other day when I have at least 8 hours of sleep. I will try it today though. Ciao for today.


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September 4, 2004

It is the end of the week. It is the end of my work week. I have been awake for 15 hours. It has tugged my brain to no ends. It is testing my patience. It is stressful.

Sometimes I wonder why I put myself to this excruciating job. They say that it is easy but it is not. They say that it pays good I say not. It is not easy and it does not pay good. Life has not been fair but we must take our own cross.

Why I am saying this, I just feel so used and useless. I longed for the day that we can rise from the depths of mediocrity. I have tried so hard but it seems it all goes down the drain. I am tired.

A change of pace is needed.

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September 2, 2004

Another early morning came, I was awaken by the loud music coming from my earphones.From the doldrums of the depths of my brain, my mind suddenly stirred. I do not know what woke me up. The music was blaring and it made me fall asleep. It is the same music that woke me up. How unusual! I searched the abyss of mind for the reason. Suddenly, something flickered in my mind. I shivered.

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4:56 AM

What's with this time that makes me think...

A normal human being wakes up at this moment to prepare himself for work...
A nocturnal creature goes home after a night-long party...
Insomniacs tosses and turns in their bed trying to get sleep...They forgot to drink their tranquilizers
The sidewalk vendors, market people, househelp, and the similar people gets ready for another 12 to 14 hour day...

Others...they are working and earning for a living...at this time I clearly remember...I was not working...I was part of those who does not care...I was part of those who partied...

Now I think...I love to experience all...it has been in my system...

Really I dont know what is with this time that makes me think...or was I thinking...

Possibly dreaming...
More likely...
likely...
zzzzzzz.....


The drug took effect.

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